Me Too…or…It Was Me

In my life…

I’ve perpetuated rape culture by not speaking up.
I’ve “joked” about sex with women with my male friends
I’ve told and laughed at rape jokes
I’ve blamed the victim
I’ve said, “Boys will be boys”
I’ve tolerated sexual harassment
I’ve inflated and spread the myth of false rape reports
I’ve supported with my dollars gendered violence movies, TV, and music
I’ve defined “manhood” as dominant and “womanhood” as submissive
I’ve taken part in pressuring my friends to “score”
I’ve assumed men don’t, or only “weak” men do, get raped
I’ve perpetuated the idea that women should avoid rape instead of telling men not to rape

I’ve been the instigator and the perpetrator of systemic sexism and rape culture. I’m not proud of it, but I won’t pretend like it missed me somehow just because I was raised by women, or because I’m so woke. I also won’t promise that I’m going to be perfect from here on out. I will promise to keep thinking about it, checking myself, and speaking out more, especially to men directly when I see it.

A Funny Thing Happened at the Karen Fraser Picnic

Author’s note: I first wrote this in the days following the picnic. I was talked out of posting it at the time. People thought it might be considered negative or that people might think Clark was involved and it’d make him look bad. SO, FULL DISCLOSURE: beyond supporting Clark with my vote and my endorsement, I am in no way affiliated or connected to Clark’s campaign and Clark doesn’t know I’m publishing this post.

This story matters to me. We need to confront toxic masculinity when we see it, and I regret waiting this long to call it out.

There I was. Sipping a cold beer in the shade. Chatting with folks and having a good time. It was really a great evening  – with a mix of folks, young and old and across the spectrum… I don’t know how many total… 200?

And then my evening was derailed… for a moment at least.

Max Brown, a candidate for Olympia City Council was walking by…

… so I said hello and reached out a hand. He took it and seemed jovial. But then he stepped into my personal space, put his face exactly one inch from mine, and while hovering over me, said, angrily and directly into my ear,

MB: “Since when the fuck am I the conservative candidate in the race?”

RRT: “Who are you running against?”

MB: “Clark”

RR: “Well, there you go.”

MB: “Just because I’m not the most progressive doesn’t make me the conservative.”

RR: “Ok.”

And that was it.

You may not think much of it. He got worked up… campaigns are stressful. He hasn’t gotten a lot of organizational endorsements, the Thurston County Democrats, and many other progressive and environmental groups have spurned him – he didn’t even bother applying for many of their endorsements. He’s got views on issues that are not at all popular in Olympia, such as his position on abortion and a woman’s right to choose. He’s getting asked about that more and more as the campaign goes on.

I’ve never run for office so I don’t know how it feels to be scrutinized like that. I can imagine it’s frustrating.

But Max IS running and this keeps gnawing at me. This wasn’t just a candidate expressing frustration. This was a flashback to high school locker room bully type behavior. His inclination was to get in my face, use a threatening tone, and use profanity directly in my ear.

So I have to think of this as yet another juxtaposition between Clark and Max. It speaks to a WAY of being. Just like that audio tape on the bus last summer showed us who Trump really is when he thinks no one is listening, Max showed his own default way of being.

Using physical intimidation to either get your way or threaten someone who criticizes your political and social beliefs isn’t a quality I want in an elected official, and I think Max might have some maturing to do before he’s ready to hold office.

The Attack on Lisa Parshley

Friends,

Recently, supporters of our opponent filed a false complaint that suggests Lisa Parshley doesn’t live in Olympia. The evidence they provide is a list of things that are not actually relevant to their residency.

– They say she gets her mail at a private mailbox. Yes, that’s correct. Lots of people do.
– They say she’s listed as an owner of a home in Boston Harbor. That’s true also, it’s a family trust of which they are majority owners. They provide, as evidence, a photo of a sign listing all the families who live on the private road the family home is on. The sign has been there since the 70’s when her dad and the neighbors had it installed.
– They say her husband signed a lease for the property at 1014 E 4th Ave. Yes, he did.
– They say her vehicles are registered at the Boston Harbor address. Yes, that’s true.
– They say she used to be registered to vote at the Boston Harbor address but then it changed to the 4th Ave address. True again.

In 2014 Lisa and Tom began residing primarily at the home on 4th Avenue. As owner/operators of a 24-hour emergency veterinary clinic, they had to be on call as well as covering overnight shifts. Lisa and Tom, like many small business owners, have dedicated themselves completely to their business. They sleep upstairs and the main floor has been used for different purposes including a dermatology clinic, and as of January, a campaign office.

While it indeed is an unconventional living situation, the requirements for voter registration hinge on where a person lays their head at night. None of the factors listed by the Allen Miller supporters refute anything about where she actually lives. This seems to be more about the fact that Lisa doesn’t own residential property within the city limits. Their arguments hover around the notion that because she isn’t “landed gentry” she doesn’t have the right to run for office. In fact, last month at the Gateway Rotary Forum, when the moderator asked each of them to ask the other a question, Miller went first and asked her: “What gives you the right to run for office? You haven’t lived here very long. You haven’t done anything. You’re just a veterinarian.”

This is yet another personal attack lobbed at Lisa by the Miller campaign. They’ve been whispering about this for months, in addition to saying at doors he knocks on that Lisa is, “just a veterinarian with no experience.” The old, ‘Repeat the opposite of the truth enough times so it sticks’ trick. This sort of campaigning worked in the presidential election last year, are we going to let it work here in Olympia? I hope not.

This is the sad side of politics that we need to do away with. We often see weak campaigns that know they’re behind resort to every trick in the book to slam, slander and impugn their opponent. What we’re hearing from the people of Olympia is that they despise this kind of dirty politics. They see it for what it is: a distraction from the issues they care about. They want real leadership and real solutions.

Lisa Parshley is an honest, sincere person with high integrity who is running a positive, issue-oriented campaign. She’s eager to get to work for the people of Olympia.

Sincerely,

Rob Richards
Campaign Manager
Lisa Parshley for Olympia City Council Pos. 5
http://www.LisaForOlympia.com

The Bridge Project Community Reception

I don’t often use this space to promote things outside of my own ideas, but I want to make an exception and ask you to join me in supporting The Bridge Music Project. I’ve signed on to be a table captain and I’m looking for 8-10 people who will join me, each donating $100 (or what you can, but $100 each is the goal).

If you can’t join me that night, you can pledge $100 and I’ll collect it and deliver it in your name at the reception. Please contact me at rob@commonaction.org or by phone/text at 360.292.0565 if you’d like to attend or pledge.

The Bridge began as a program of Community Youth Services and is now its own 501(C)3 organization. The money we raise at this reception will be used exclusively to fund the 8-week youth songwriting workshop this fall. So, your $100 can go a long way towards our goal of raising $8500 to cover this year’s workshops.

Watch this short documentary about the workshop:

About the event:

And here’s some general info about The Bridge Music Project:

BRIDGE One Sheet

BASICALLY… The Bridge is a Hip-Hop songwriting workshop for youth between the ages of 14 and 19. Over the course of eight weeks, participants will learn how to write, produce, and perform their own original Hip-Hop song. Through mentoring youth in songwriting, the program equips them with tools for self-expression and understanding that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives.

“The founding principle behind this program is self-understanding. We believe through giving youth an outlet to better express and understand themselves this awareness will transfer to other aspects of their life such as school and peer interactions. We promote teamwork by having our youth work in a collaborative environment where students are encouraged to work together and share ideas. We also fill a much-needed gap in our community of extracurricular activities involving music.”

 

I hope you’ll join me, or pledge to support, this amazing organization that empowers low-income youth to BE themselves and EXPRESS themselves.

Thanks

The Port of Olympia Uses Prison Labor

Yesterday I got a message from a friend who lives out in Tumwater out by the airport. They told me that a couple days ago an employee of the Port of Olympia came to their door with a courtesy notice that they’d be clearing brush in a field that the Port owns behind their house. My friend noticed them out their window yesterday morning and something odd struck them about it. The workers were wearing bright jumpsuits. They went out to get a closer look and sure enough, the jumpsuits were emblazoned with DOC – short for Department of Corrections – these were prison laborers.

My friend, being braver than I would have been, actually approached the guard and chatted him up. The guard told them that the prisoners were from Cedar Creek Correctional Facility and that they “work with the Port of Olympia all the time.” Meaning the Port of Olympia, as a standard practice, contracts for prison labor.

If you know nothing about prison labor today, let me tell you clearly that it is the remains of slavery in modern society. As plantations were disbanded, work camps were instituted throughout the south and new laws were created to make it easier to incarcerate black people and force them to work off their crimes, sometimes sentenced for decades for modest infractions. Modern day private prisons have a direct lineage to these early chattel-slavery work camps. This isn’t a conspiracy theory, it’s not hyperbole, it’s plain fact.

I spoke with Commissioner EJ Zita on the phone and she seemed very concerned, and very much in the dark about this business practice of our port. I then emailed her, which she sent a long to Executive Director Ed Galligan and Airport Director Rudy Rudolph. It’s been about 24 hours since then and I’ve heard no response yet.

We’re in the middle of a campaign season that could change our port dramatically. 2 out of 3 seats are up for grabs. That means we can take the majority and make some real changes and that can include banning this practice. I hope that people will make this a campaign issue, and speak up about it at Port of Olympia Commission meetings. I also hope our cities will consider passing ordinances banning private prison labor from being used within their city limits. I’m sending an email to them right now, I hope you will too.

Read this Seattle Times article if you want to learn more about the shady private prison labor program in Washington State – the fourth largest in the US, raking in $70 million in product sales alone while still costing you and me $20 million a year in tax money.

Transgender Protections in Olympia NOW

It’s always a difficult thing to think of the right response when a friend is hurting or scared. It’s another thing when the actions of our government cause it. Our federal government feels like an ocean that we can’t fight lest we risk drowning.

But here in Olympia, we CAN do something.

Do our municipal codes explicitly protect trans folks from discrimination?
Do they explicitly require Public Accommodations?

According to Human Rights Watch, Olympia doesn’t have those protections explicitly including trans people in our ordinances.

Can our response to Trump be to protect OUR people?

Write your city council members an email asking them to act on this. Reach them at citycouncil@ci.olympia.wa.us – a draft of a message is below.


Dear Council Members,

Once again, the Trump administration has targeted Olympians. Proud members of our community who serve in the military are facing a ban from that service, which they perform out of love of country and community, willing to give their lives in defense of our right to the pursuit of happiness.

In the past, we’ve stood up as a community, and you as council members have stood with us, to offer sanctuary and be a safe place for immigrants, Muslims, and other groups targeted by this administration. It’s another one of those moments in time where we will be judged by our response.You can do this by drafting an update to our anti-discrimination ordinance so that it explicitly covers trans people, and by creating public accommodations requirements explicitly written into our city codes.

We can do the right thing in Olympia by drafting an update to our anti-discrimination ordinance so that it explicitly covers trans people, and by creating public accommodations requirements for trans people, explicitly written into our city codes.

Sincerely,

xxyournamexx

A Little Bit about Privilege

Things We as White People Take for Granted Expose People of Color to Terror
I can’t get it out of my head so of course, I’ll put it down here for you…
Yesterday I was talking to a black woman I know. Her son is getting his driver’s license. He’s older than most kids who get theirs for the first time because he’s been afraid to drive. Because he knows he’ll get pulled over. Because he sees what happens to people who look like him.
Close your eyes and think back to when you got your driver’s license for the first time. What do you feel? Freedom? Excitement? Accomplishment? Is that a warm, fuzzy memory?
Now imagine you’re scared to drive. You’re not scared because your parents bought you a stick shift and you’re nervous about it, or because you get freaked out on the freeway. You’re scared because driving opens up another avenue to your death. Nearly every day you see people who look like you killed for driving. Not driving leaves that avenue closed, exposes you to less risk.  This is, in the definitive sense, terror. You can’t, if you’re white like me, really even begin to imagine the feeling, so don’t try too hard here today.
Just ask yourself where you are right now after reading this. Have you ever thought about the difference in how you approach something versus how a person of color does, or why?
Tell this story to a white friend and talk about ways we can start to dismantle this. Don’t stay in the abstract, only talking about systems of oppression. Don’t point the finger at anyone but yourself, YOU (and ME) perpetuate this if we’re not constantly working against it. What are some things you can do, today or this week or month, or every day, in the community or among your peers to start to chip away at the blinders we wear, and the complicity we share?
We live in a society where a young man who is well down the road to becoming a doctor is scared to get a driver’s license because he knows it exposes him to violence.